(All About) Zayne's World

Me with Zayne Mojica

by Susan Palmes-Dennis

FIVE-YEAR-OLD Zayne Mojica calls me Nanay (mother in the Filipino language). It's the sweetest thing I've heard in the US so far aside from the endearments I hear from my husband Ronnie.

I'm with him five days a week from nine AM to five PM except when I'm unavailable or during the holidays before he started his pre-kindergarten days. By then I'm with him from 12:30 noon to five in the afternoon. 

Occasionally, he spends the night with us and it would be fun.  I can now tell his mood and reactions on a given situation and circumstances. 

I started out with him being a year and three months old, just about the same period that I arrived in North Carolina from my hometown of Tagoloan, Misamis Oriental in Northern Mindanao, Philippines.

At that time, I couldn't believe seeing for myself a blue-eyed, blonde infant in my arms. He seldom cries and he does only when he's wet or hungry. At that time it was easy for me to take care of the baby. 

Zayne has a sunny disposition even as an infant

It became a pattern; I would stay with him early in the day and late in the afternoon. 

Little kingdom
It was at this time that Zayne would love to play with his colorful toys, making his own unique sounds and noise. 

It was also the first time I've seen a child play with so many toys outside of a store and in the comfort of home. In the first few days I would be startled by the sound of a toy horse or pig.

After lunch he would rest from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m or even an hour later. Those raising kids know that sleep is important to a baby's health and mood. If they don't get enough sleep they get cranky.

Zayne has his crib, his own little kingdom which I may write one of these days. Relating to my own experience as a mother, I can tell that it's quite different raising Filipino babies. You usually have to sing them to sleep while swinging the hammock they sleep on. 

With Zayne, I simply put him in his crib, confident that he would soon doze off. When he was big enough, he would plead me not to leave him. It's a good thing that the crib is covered by a net and zipper. 

As an adult
He would eventually sleep while classical music like Mozart plays on the CD player. Never mind the claim of some studies that classical music calms a baby to sleep, that's up for debate. But since it works for Zayne, I guess there's some truth to it. 

I was tempted to sing a lullaby to him but I couldn't remember any song aside from religious songs which I don't think he would want to hear and may even cause him to cry.

Now that he's four years old, when I hum a few lines he would be humming along  with me. It was difficult at times handling him; he would try to get out of the mosquito net set up over his crib and there are holes to prove it.

Zayne having fun with some classmates

I was with Zayne when he grew his first tooth, made his first steps, spoke his first word and eventually his potty training. The specifics I scribbled in my diary. Raising a kid again wasn't easy after I've finished rearing my own four kids.

With my children, I can say what I want to say; with Zayne I have to build and earn his trust.  Now that he's a little older, I have to build on Zayne's trust and I do so by treating him at times as an adult, an equal. 

Time Out
I do this one step at a time. He once called me his best friend, though I couldn't exactly recall when it took place. He would tell me while hugging me “You are my best friend ever super duper Nanay.” 

But I am careful do say no when he asks for or wants to do something and by then he would say “you're not my best friend anymore” and run away. I've learned not to force anything on him for a while, pretend that I was hurt and then he would eventually reconcile.

By now, this story may get quite over long but allow me to share with you four moments I spent with Zayne that I considered special. Moment number one was last Christmas when he received a Kindle Fire HD tablet.

Zayne in the center during a school presentation

Zayne loves the Kindle because it hosts his favorite games like “Subway Surfers, Despicable Me- Minion Rush”, “Angry Birds” and some car racing. He also watches videos like Rabbid or Escape. 

One day I told Zayne to have a time out by not doing his “favorite thing” which was to play Kindle for several hours. He obeyed but after a while he asked for my Kindle and I said “No Kindle- remember you're in a time out.”

Speechless
He replied “Yes, with my Kindle but not your Kindle, you're not in a time out.” So I told him that if he's on a timeout that means he won't play with his Kindle or anyone else's tablet. 

I told him it was also his father who told him not to play with his Kindle and I had to follow it through because I believe in consistency when disciplining a child. 

But eventually I gave him my own Kindle because in his mind he was right—he wasn't playing with his Kindle but my Kindle because I'm not on a time out. What can I say? 

Moment number 2:  The time when my grandson Sam got dengue fever in Tagoloan town. I was devastated and I immediately kneeled to pray. At that same time, Zayne was coughing and had a runny nose.

When he saw me he asked me what I was doing Nanay and I answered that I was praying. Zayne replied ”I am okay now Jesus, stop kneeling.” He got up and got my hands. I was speechless and I smiled despite my worries for Sam. 

'No medium loud'
Moment number 3: Sometimes he would defecate and I would see him trying to use the toilet seat. One day I saw him trying to do it and I whispered to him to sit in the toilet properly so he can relieve himself.

I know that he doesn't like being told all the time so I just stood there looking at him and when I saw that he was having a tough time doing so, I said out of nowhere “Lord please help Zayne ease his pain.”

I was shocked when he told me “Louder Nanay- not medium loud, Nanay.”  I smiled, thinking that he believed the Lord would help him if I talked louder.  

Okay, moment number 4: When he was three years old, Zayne didn't want to bathe at night. I thought, oh, he must loathe water. But Zayne actually likes to wade in the pool. 

I soon came to realize that he doesn't want to bathe at night because to him, it meant sleeping afterwards. So I bathe him earlier in the day.

The birthday boy Zayne playing dress up

Zayne's favorite words are “My daddy says, I can do it, I can fix it, let me fix it for you, you see and many more.” Well, this is quite a long story so I won't tell you why Zayne loves big shoes. 

For now I wish Zayne happy birthday. He turns five years old today. 

(The blogger/author is a veteran journalist from Cagayan de Oro City, Misamis Oriental, Northern Mindanao in the Philippines who works as a nanny in North Carolina. Read her blogs on susanpalmesstraightfrom the Carolinas.com).